[remember when]

16 11 2021

remember when

it was good to seek the police

I can’t breathe





[dreams of a milk saucer]

16 11 2021

dreams of a milk saucer

her whiskers twitch in time

with her snores





[Black Friday riots]

16 11 2021

Black Friday riots

so thankful to have so much stuff

they must have more





[a sandcastle]

15 11 2021

a sandcastle

stands against the rising tide

Neptune rules here

#sandcastle #Neptune #tide





BC Ferries Cancels Sailings

15 11 2021

Today BC Ferries canceled a number of sailing between Victoria and Vancouver, such as they have done numerous times this year. Immediately upon the announcement of this the sarcastic barbs started flying on social media

“Oh, you afraid of a little wind?”

“What the fuck, the rain too much for you?”

To all of you people out there who are so quick to lambaste BC Ferries for canceling sailings due to weather conditions, do you have any idea of what it means to be Master of one of those ferries?

The Master of any ship is responsible for the safety and well being of said ship and every person aboard it. I am quite confident in the abilities of the ship’s Master to get his ship from one side to the other and likewise confident of the ship to be able to withstand the forces of nature that exist here. The only question is the quality of people aboard the ship itself.

How many times have you seen someone aboard a ferry who is drunk or high or both? How many times do you see little kids running everywhere with their parents happily ignoring them? If one of those people get hurt, in anyway, the Master has to answer for it.

Those ferries have a lot of mass to them, especially when they are fully loaded with cars. They also have a very large surface area that the 40, 50, 60+ knot wind to bash against. Are you up to the task of maneuvering a vessel of 21000 gross tonnage (Spirit class ferry) into its berth with a 50 knot wind bashing against its hull? The docking can get really bumpy really quickly. Speaking of bumps, and they do happen, when the ship hits its mooring pier people will get thrown around and injured. Each injury has to be answered for by the Master. A car down on the vehicle deck gets damaged and the Master gets yelled at.

It sucks when the ferries get canceled for whatever reason. It sucks a lot.

Get over it

Until you are prepared to take the responsibility for 500+ lives, knowing full well that some of those lives are onboard just looking for a reason to take you to court, stop with the micky mouse sneering.

Be a better human

#BCFerries #weather





Tales of anguish from the DM

14 11 2021

This is a recounting of a D&D session last night that is worthy of legend. Sit back, hold on, get a big bowl of popcorn and try not to widdle your knickers

The Background

So, I have started up a Zoom D&D campaign April 2020, something to take our minds off of what was happening in the real world. It has been fun reusing my DM skills and watching a group of people who hadn’t played in a long time – including one brand spanking newbie, go through the world that I have pretty much been making up on the fly.

The party currently consists of

hobbit thief, a gnomish cleric, a human wizard, and an elven fighter, all in the 7-9 level range

There is also a NPC thief- Louise (who traditionally has been extremely unlucky in combat situations) and just recently a human – Melaine a young girl who is learning to be cleric.

The Story

The party is riding on to their destiny and they stop for the night to rest as any party would do, they are in a clearing about 100 yards from a river. They are in a valley between two very high mountains. It was the middle of the night and the two NPCs – Melaine and Louise are on watch. All is peaceful until a largish group of orcs come tromping through the forest making a whole lot of racket.

Melaine, being young and somewhat skittish, casts a light spell on a rock and throws it in the direction of the noise. The rock lands and suddenly the three orcs at the edge of the clearing get two eyefuls of sunshine, they squeal and start stumbling out into the clearing. The other 10 orcs think “SHIT, I think I forgot to turn off the stove, I should go home and check”.

Meanwhile, Louise, who so far has not been able to hit the broadside of a barn with a handful of rice, goes full berserker. She pulls out her short sword, starts roaring incoherently and charges.

Next round, the party awakened by the incoherent roaring gets up and looks around. The fighter goes “Huh, orcs.” He pulls out a fire arrow, fires it right in front of one of the blinded orcs and promptly goes back to his bed roll. “They are just orcs, not worth getting upset over”

Melaine casts an entangle spell on orc and successfully stops it from being a threat. The wizard casts a cantrip to amplify his voice and in his best orcish bellows “WHO DARES TO DISRUPT MY SLEEP”. Unfortunately his best orcish it came out as “Hey dudes, chill out”. This did not have the desired effect, you win some, and you lose some.

Louise, who is totally hyped up on adrenalin reaches one orc who was desperately trying to run away. She swings her sword and rolls BOOM natural 20. This was a backstab attack from a thief so the damage is multiplied by 3 and then by 2 for the natural 20. She could have done 48 damage. Fortunately for the orc, she only did 18. Unfortunately for the orc, it only could take 10.

Louise 1, orcs 0.

Back to Melaine. Seeing that her orc couldn’t move she approaches casting Charm Monster on it. She wants to be friends. Cue the wizard, now pissed that his first plan didn’t go off as expected decides to cast Magic Missile. This spell is very quick to go off, somewhat unlike Charm Monster. Just as Melaine is getting close, the orc acquires three golf ball sized holes in its head. Someone should have stayed in bed this morning.

Wizard 1, orcs 0

Now, I am sure you are wondering about the third orc. This is where it gets serious. The third orc finally gets its eyesight back to see a hobbit rushing at it. Now, if I was an orc and saw a small thing rushing at me with a blade I would run away, wouldn’t you? Well orc turned around to run away and ran into a tree.

Tree 1, orc 0.

Slightly stunned, the orc stumbles back a step, mutters the orcish equivalent of “fuck” and sees the berserker formerly known as Louise approaching, at speed.

Louise swings her sword BOOM natural 20 again. I didn’t even bother to roll damage.

Louise 2, orcs 0

Then the party went back to sleep after they helped Melaine clean the orcs brain matter off of her face.

And then there was the dragon, but that is another story for another time

#DungeonsAndDragons





[a dream]

14 02 2021

a dream

shattered on the floor

he had failed





[his first haircut]

12 10 2020

his first haircut

keeping my toes nice and warm

Socks of love





[rain shower]

9 10 2020

rain shower

my joy flows

downstream





[dew drops]

17 09 2020

dew drops

soaking the bulrush

rippled pond